all things must pass

Something big happened and something changed. In a  split second it's like earth stopped orbiting the sun and the polar ice caps melted. My world completely crashed, my heart threw itself into my throat and I choked for what felt like eternity. I'm still catching my breath. When you realise you are completely disposable to somebody, things change. When you realise that it's possible for somebody to find it in them to scrap the book you've written together, to write something more to their own taste, without you, things change.... things change and there isn't any changing back. To let you in I bulldozed my walls down, the pretty iron walls that I'd spent years constructing and hiding behind, they came down for you... you had the key and a one way  pass to my world, to me and everything inside my head, i let you in without hesitation because i felt something. You were different and i felt safe. I've never been so attracted to somebody, so drawn to somebody... and to have that stripped away, for all of it to be pulled down and tranished with the thought that you no longer need me how i need you... i don't think things will recover from that. i'm worried. I had my golden ticket, it was in my hand but somehow, it was cruelly taken away.